Monday, September 23, 2013

When did this happen?

    Do you ever have those moments, that thrust you into the swift reality that you are officially a parent?  Some days, I still feel like I'm the irresponsible teenager that is trying her hardest to push the boundaries and figure out what life is all about.  I've had "holey moley, you're a parent moments" more and more lately, with the start of school and hospital stays.  However, I had one today that I didn't see coming.
    Have I ever told you how much I love our Eli bear?  He happens to be so hilarious and is turning into quite the handsome, charmer.  He's now going to full day pre-K which he is excelling at and is loving every minute of school time.  Today, while I was running errands I got a call from the school asking me to bring another pair of pants and undies for Eli to school.  Now that's a "you're a parent" wake up call.  Apparently, Eli got so excited on the playground that he didn't quite want to leave play time early to go to the potty, so he had a pee your pants episode. Can't really blame him for that.
    I walked into the School office and saw Eli sitting in a chair with his lunch box on his lap, with the saddest sullen look all over his face.  The second he saw me, he immediatley lost it and started to cry.  It was one of the most tender things I've witnessed in a long time.  He hugged me long and tight, and I convinced the sobbing bear to go to the bathroom so we could change his pants.  The whole time in the bathroom, he was crying, while saying, "I just want to go home, can I go home?"  Every part of me wanted to scoop the humiliated bear up and take him home for the rest of the day.  But alas,  I knew this was a pinnacle parenting moment that required me to do the hard thing.  I knew I had to make him stay to face his friends even after wetting his pants.  As we were walking back into the hall, I kept telling him over and over, that Mommy pees her pants all the time and it's no big deal.  His teacher and a few other female teachers overheard me telling him that and they all agreed that they pee their pants too, which all of us childbearing women know is definitely true.  An immediate look of relief came over Eli's face after hearing he was not alone in the peeing pants department, and with that he put on a smile and was eagerly on his way back to class.
    I walked out of the school today, laughing to myself about this parenting thing that randomly sneaks up on you when you least expect it.  Thank you Adam Sandler for reminding me, "You ain't cool unless you pee your pants" and thanks bear for giving me the privilege of being your mama.

Thursday, September 5, 2013


     It has been 2 weeks from Evey's veptr surgery.  I've waited this long to update, because if I would have tried to write any sooner, it would have been a whining blog post.  I hate whining/complaining, so I try to avoid it all costs, and if on the rare occasion it happens, it mostly falls on Nate's poor ears, in the privacy of our own home.
     In the last 2 weeks; the boys started full day school (our autistic Owen started a main-stream private school), Evey has been up every night as we're working on pain management and we celebrated my big 3-2 b-day at the hospital.
     I'm finally seeing the light today, so I decided to turn this into a gratitude post.  It's much needed, and I must admit, I haven't been the most grateful person these last few weeks in the midst of sleep deprivation and worrying about the boys in their new school.  So here it goes, my grateful list:

I am grateful for the two doctors that invented the veptr procedure and essentially are giving us some more time with our daughter here in mortality.

     I am grateful for a school taking a chance on our Owen and Eli and giving them an incredible opportunity to learn and grow.

I am grateful for temples, and the perspective and escape that it provides us from the chaos of daily life.

 I am grateful for a new bladder that again allows me to do stupid things like this at the ripe old age of 32.   With age, obviously doesn't come wisdom.  (you know those kids are thinking, why is that old lady taking up our turn on the trampoline?) 

I am grateful for 4 amazingly strong, fearless kids.  They'll try anything and are so brave.  I couldn't have asked for 4 more amazing kids.

I am grateful to be a mom.  It's the most surprisingly, perfect gift that I could have ever received.  And it is an indescribably beautiful gift, that I am eternally grateful for.

I am so grateful for this guy.  He is my partner and bestie through it all.  He loves and takes care of all of us without hesitation.  He works endlessly to make sure we all have what we need and then comes home and loves on us and makes us all laugh until we cry.  People always comment on how strong, "special needs moms" are.  I'll tell you this much, I am nothing without him. He is my rock that gives me strength and provides me the support I need to be strong.  It's the "special needs dads" that do the dirty work behind the scenes, and don't get the credit.  So yes baby-bubba,  I still choose you!

As always, I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father.  He provides the comfort when we need it, he forgives me when my head has been stuck in the sand for a couple of weeks, and he gives me little nudges when I've forgotten to be grateful for a while. 
Last but not least he never ever abandons our little family.  
We are blessed.