Friday, April 26, 2013

The "blessed" word

There's a lot of debate in the special needs world when it comes to the word 'blessed'.  Recently, it has been popping up more and more in conversations with family and friends.  Not one to shy away from a debate I'd thought I'd give my two dollars worth.

I know there are some special needs parents that get offended when people tell them how blessed they must be to have a special needs child.  And, there are some special needs parents that smile and nod and mostly agree. while wanting to explain their daily life so that those making the comment will understand what a burden it is on special needs parents' lives.  So, the debate is all over on this word, but, I personally would like to explain why our family is indeed beyond blessed.

Just so people think I'm not ignorantly optimistic (I like to think I'm just simply optimistic), let me put this on the table from the get go: yes, most days Nate & I are physically stretched to our limit.  And yes, our minds do feel like scrambled eggs trying to build our company, and run a business, and keep track of all 4 kids and their needs.  That is just the reality of the supreme team.  But...and this is a big BUT, us being tired doesn't detract - even in the slightest way - from the fact that Nate & I know that we are blessed, are always being blessed, and have too many blessings to even keep track of.  And, because of our knowledge of the "blessed" word, it keeps us optimistic, happy and grateful almost all hours of all days. And here's why...

We have so many amazing people in our lives that are encouraging, supportive, and just downright amazing.  Around every corner there's another set of parents, or a doctor, or a friend, or a therapist that pops up and reminds us that there are uplifting people all around.  We have parents that call at just the right moment and tell us how proud of us they are, and they always have the best words to get us through the day.  We have been blessed with an amazing medical community that will jump through hoops to make Evey's life more comfortable.  We have met other friends / parents with special needs kids that are amazing listeners, that understand our lives, that still smile while talking about really sad and difficult things and that are working just as hard as we are to make their marriage and family the best that it can possibly be.  We have nieces and nephews who we love and adore, who are constantly looking out for their cousins. I mean, what 14 year old boy would hop on his bike, on his day off school, and come down to spend the day with his toddler cousins and help his recovering aunt with laundry?  So, yes, we are surrounded by amazingness.

But, here's the kicker: we are mainly blessed because of our faith.  We know that this life is fleeting and temporary, and these so called "hard" moments now will seem so miniscule in the eternal perspective of things.  I know without a doubt that when mine and Evey's lives are done here on this Earth, I will stand next to my sister, who is so much older and wiser than I can ever imagine. It's a humbling and yet an amazing thing knowing that your daughter on this earth has a spirit that is grander and bigger than I can even comprehend.  Because of that, I will want Evey to be proud of the way I took care of her mortal body on this earth.  I will want that respect that only a little sister would want from her older sister.  It's a magical moment that I think about often: the hug that I'm going to get from Evey after this life and the conversation that we will have.  And, I will tell Evey: "yes, we were blessed and honored to be your temporary guardians on this earthly adventure, and we embraced it all, the good and the difficult."  That's the beautiful thing about faith: with it, we feel nothing but blessed.

1 comment:

  1. I have chills and tears at the same time. Thanks Cal, for sharing with us the inspiring thoughts and insight you're encountering through life with Evey. I can't wait to have her all to myself for a few days in June! (I realize I never responded to your text - consider this a response that yes, your plans should be just fine). And optimistic? Yes. But ignorantly so? No. There is nothing ignorant about this perspective and vision Evey has blessed you with.