I love getting older. When I was 3 I wanted to be 18. When I was 18 I wanted to be 25 and now that I've turned 31 I'm starting to feel content in my own skin. I've never been one of those people that is a kid at heart. I was born a 30 year old, so said my parents and I felt the same way. Now, watching Zoey, I understand that, she's already this little adult. I feel like I'm becoming more legit in my 30s. Nobody takes you seriously in your 20s, but by 30s you start to get some more credibility. I can't wait until I'm in my 40s, now that's going to feel phenomenal.
Besides feeling good about my 30s this birthday was quite the reflective one. I walked around all day in awe of where I've been, who I am now, and more importantly who I want to become. I'm amazed at the love the Lord has for me. He gave me my perfect match for a husband and 4 amazing children. Evey gave me a wonderful birthday gift too. She stopped sucking on her binky this week and we were afraid she was losing her oral skills. But lo and behold, I woke up on my birthday and managed to get a few smiles out of her and she sucked on her binky like a champ all day. Presents are soooo overrated.
Tomorrow's the big day. Eve's going in for 3 procedures. It feels different this time going in for another week hospital stay. I think the ignorance of all things medical has worn off and we now are hyper aware of all the good and bad that can go wrong. Nate & I were talking about how the hospital is such a twilight zone. When you're in there it's like the outside world doesn't exist. I find myself putting the wrong years and months on forms I need to sign and when we go home to sleep, it doesn't feel real. So we went into deep thought mode and figured out why it feels that way for us. In a children's hospital the veil is so thin because you literally have these precious spirits coming and going every minute. You know there's family members ever present welcoming these children through the veil or sending them back to us through the veil. You can't not feel that strong presence. But at the same time you're so grounded in the obviousness of mortality being surrounded by all these machines and modern medicine that saves lives. You have to be aware of mortality because it's coming and going all around you. So Nate and I call it the one foot in and the one foot out phenomenon. We're literally straddling the line between this life and the next with Evey in the hospital so it makes everything else so surreal. What a nightmare it would be to be doing this without the knowledge of our savior and his plan of happiness. Because if we can't truly be happy through the "stuff" of life then what's the point.
Thank you, thank you for the many prayers. Tomorrow we'll most definitely feel them. And Nate & I pray every night that your lives are being blessed in return for all your service and prayers for us. - Cally
On a non-deep thought note, the down side of turning 31 is that I find myself leaving the house more often with my shirt inside out(me too, Kim). Good thing I have a detail oriented husband that always notices.